One of the first self-improvement authors I ever read was Terry Cole-Whittaker. 
I found her advice to be sensible and no nonsense.

One of my favorite pieces of advice from her is:

“The best way to deal with somebody is to deal with yourself.”
Often , a problem we are experiencing would not even be an issue for someone else in the exact same situation. 
Because being a different person they bring a totally different energy, perspective and skillset. 
Different person – different experience. 
Instead of changing the outside world, we need to change our inner world and the outer  world must change accordingly.
Here’s how.